This time Kelso has gone too far:Ashton Kutcher Moons Abraham Lincoln Monument
October 2, 2006 12:25 p.m. EST
Maira Oliveira - All Headline News Reporter
Washington, D.C. (AHN) - Ashton Kutcher decided to put on a brave face and
test his limits with inanimate objects in the country's capital last week. The
former "That 70s Show" star made a recent trip to Washington, D.C. with his wife
Demi Moore, hoping to do a little bit of sightseeing and to embark on an
unforgettable adventure - and that he did.
During his few nights stay, Ashton decided to bare his butt for Abraham
Lincoln's entire stone fixture to see.
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Despite what Larry Kramer, Gore Vidal, Carl Sandburg, Walt Whitman, Joshua Fry Speed, or a long list of scholars understandably would like to fantasize, I can assure you that Father Abraham would have not the slightest interest in Kelso's ass. Even less so in stone form.
Second, I've put up with that crazy kid's hijinks long enough. You DO NOT PUNK Abraham Lincoln!!! This is no ordinary monument we're talking about, but a temple in which the memory of our savior is enshrined forever, until it is destroyed, only to be rebuilt on the third day.
Ashton Kutcher, you're on my shit list. That is a place you do not want to be, my young friend. Well, it's not a place so much as...a list, a list on which you should not wish to have your name placed. But you're on it now. Your time is coming. You will know not the day nor the hour. Just you wait.
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